Friday, October 21, 2011

First Impressions: Anti-zilla

I didn't plan to write a blog, it just happened! Unemployment (self-imposed, i might add!), a wedding in the offing and a rigorous fitness schedule, conspired to make me find an outlet for my ideas, thoughts and activities. while none of the above criteria sound original or unique, my particular situation is truly different! i'm a bride-to-be, 10 weeks away from D-day who is very excited about getting married, but simply can't get herself to fall into the "bride-to-be" mode. to put it plainly, i am the anti-christ of the bridezilla, (which makes me the ante-zilla?)
And, what makes up an anti-zilla, did you ask? here's a brief description:
1. a person who takes 2 hours to buy her wedding sari+reception sari.
2. a person who takes 30mins for a make-up trial
3. a person who says (and actually means it) she doesn't want/need a wedding present!
and no, im not a moron, its just that i live in mortal fear of collecting a lot of rubbish masquerading as photoframes, wall clocks, decorative boxes and wall hangings wishing me a happy married life.
that being said, in this first post, i'll highlight the timeline required to begin the countdown!

step no. 1: find the boy of your dreams. (did i hear a groan?)
step no. 2: fix a date (at least 1 year prior, if your planning a wedding in bombay.....strange isn't it??)
step no. 3: run around a break-neck speed once you've fixed a date in conjunction with your priest, star sign, moon sign, NRI friend's vacations, cousin's delivery date etc. to find a venue in bombay. (1 year before)
step no. 4: venues are easy to classify to shorten your search: classify them by capacity first, then go visit each venue separately and check out the pricing. if capacity meets budget, consider it a succesful marraige already!
step no. 5: send out a "save the date" to all your loved ones, because trust me, people book their exotic holidays a year in advance too! (don't bother sending it to not-so-loved ones, because they might actually turn up!)
step no. 6: buy a book on yoga and meditation. you are going to need all the patience that you can muster to gear you up for the laughter, tears and battles ahead!!
step no. 7: plan the one thing that the world EXPECTS from brides-to-be: weight loss. i used to think this didn't apply to skinny girls, but kate middleton just made our lives more complicated. so don't do anything too rash, just plan 1-2-3 or the 10 kilos that you hae to lose and spread it out over the number of months remaining (we're still at the 9months left time-line). go about the weight loss in a sensible manner. NO dieticians, crash diets, anorexia/bulimia should be sharing your honeymoon, so go in for something sensible. give up sweets, avoid fried food, alcohol and step up the excercise. and yes, this recipe does work, trust me!
step no. 8: around 6 months before start looking for saris, jewellery, outfits you like in magazines. you don't have to buy them, they just help you decide how you want to look till you actually go to buy the sari.
step no. 9: in cohoots with your fiance, decide on a honeymoon spot and BOOK THE FLIGHT TICKET. yes, the prices go up faster than you can say "honeymoon"!

so all the time-bound work being done, take a break for some time, pretend your back at the "boyfriend" stage of life, and enjoy your carefree days for a few days more:) step 10 onwards to follow soon.....
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3 comments:

  1. Awesome work...
    Great going dooda... U know I'll have a faithful reader in me...
    Keep the good stuff coming

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  2. Sooo funny! Thanks for sharing... good work. I look forward to other posts.

    ReplyDelete